Soul Sacrifice
by Aurianna
Summary: Set after Hell's Bells, Willow & Tara retreat to find the MIA Xander & Anya, leaving behind a very moody a slayer, a very bored Dawn and a vampire who will do just about anything to get his little Goldielocks back. (S/B). WIP
1. Tying Up [and Making] Loose Ends

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Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters… Of course, it would be pretty easy to say that I did… I mean… I could argue that I just happen to have characters with the same names that just happen to do the same things and act pretty much the same way as Joss Whedon's characters… But I doubt anyone would buy it. People are so unreasonable sometimes.

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Disclaimer Part II: I know it would be pretty easy to copy and paste, but I'm not going to put the disclaimer at the top of any of the other chapters, because I really don't feel like it… So this one applies for them all. Oh, and I got the title of this fic from an episode of the show "La Femme Nikita." But they usually steal their titles from other places too, so you'll have to bug them to find out the real source.

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Author's Note: As I said in the summary (or plan to, since I wrote this before I ever wrote the summary), this is set after "Hell's Bells." So I'm sure there are general spoilers for episodes before that (and specifics from eps after Wrecked). Also, I'm a reformed spoiler whore, and proud to say I'm spoiler free for the rest of the season! (Really, that's just a shameless way for me to pat myself on the back, but yes… The story will probably quickly become obsolete when the new episodes _finally_ come out, but I guess that's the way a lot of fics are). Haha… No… That really was just a shameless way for me to flaunt my self-control. I think it's time to get on to the fic… But first… Spoiler Pure people rock! *high five*

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Author's Note Part II: I rated this PG-13, though it could get closer to R. I wouldn't know. I was kinda desensitized to violence and sex and such, because I started watching R movies and the like when I was around 10 or 11. I'm awful at gauging it. I'll keep it at PG-13, because I'm guessing that most of the people who watch Buffy and read Buffy fic aren't juvenile, and can handle things. But if it does seem like it should be R, tell me in a review or email or something. Thanks. J 

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Soul Sacrifice

Chapter 1 – Tying Up [and Making] Loose Ends

The sun was setting on what had again been a beautiful day in Sunnydale. It had been a day which was very amiable to fuzzy little woodland creatures and whatnot, but was very disagreeable to a vampire like Spike, who was just then leaving his crypt to pay a visit to his favorite (or more accurately, least favorite) group of Scoobies.

Luckily, though, he knew he wouldn't have to deal with the whelp, who would no doubt be off shagging his demon bride while partaking of strawberries & champagne on a tropical island somewhere. And most of the others would probably be off doing something else as well.

It wasn't that he would mind seeing any of them. He didn't really hate any of them anymore (except maybe Xander). He'd grown to tolerate them. The demon girl amused him. He cared as much as a vampire could for Dawn, and he was even developing a soft spot for the witches. But none of them were the girl he really wanted to see. Though, he wasn't sure if he wanted to see her, either.

Buffy. Seeing her at the wedding had been wonderful. Even in the hideous getup she wore, she was stunning. And she smelled so sweet. And she smiled. But seeing her and being with her were two different things. Things had been so awkward. She was obviously uncomfortable as well.

"Damn her," he thought. "She was jealous. I got the desired reaction, but I couldn't bloody well enjoy it. One look at her and poof! I'm a soddin' poof! Putty in her hands." He thought, mentally kicking himself.

And God! They were there, together, and he couldn't stop the thoughts running through his head. Hell. He could barely keep himself from acting on them. Ideas of grabbing the slayer, ripping that bloody awful radioactive dress from her body and taking her right then and there besieged his brain. Those images mingled with, and even combined with, thoughts of biting and draining her completely, as punishment for ever thinking of leaving him. And then he realized, either she'd let him do it, or she'd stake him. And he wasn't sure which alternative scared him more.

"And even with those very thoughts plaguing my being, if my having to remind her that I'm evil wasn't bad enough, I apologized and complimented her as well. I'm just not right when I'm with that girl…"

It was an interesting idea, but one he'd have to contemplate later. He was at the front door of the magic shop, and with the sun not entirely set, Spike had more than enough reason to not dawdle outside.

Willow and Tara were sitting at the table in the Magic Box in silence, waiting for Buffy to arrive. They were suddenly interrupted by the tinkle of the annoying little shop bell, by a hastily opened door's slam, and by the entrance of an only slightly baking Spike.

He stepped towards them and nodded a greeting. "Red, Glenda," he ventured. Then he noticed their serious looks. "Why so glum? Would of thought you'd be off with the post-wedding antics. All giddy and cheery-like. Not poutin' around like your favorite black cat was just made road kill pizza by some passing jerk in a pickup truck."

"Yes, yes. That's exactly what happened. Thanks for rehashing the painful memories, Spike." Willow replied blandly.

"No, Spike, it's just Xander…" Tara started.

"Oh! What's the matter Red? Having those sultry feelings for the boy again? You a bit green now that he's off snogging the demon chick. Even though, I might add, he has two perfectly delicious witches right here at home?" A sexy smirk played across Spike's face, but Willow wasn't in the mindset to be amused.

"No, Spike. That's not it… Don't you have somewhere else to go? Puppies to scare? Crucifixes to shove up your-"

"Oh feisty!" Spike interrupted in a growl. "What? Taking lessons from the whelp in 'the art of telling Spike to do himself in 101?'" He asked in all seriousness and curiosity.

"No, Spike, she's sorry," Tara said, glancing at Willow, whose face showed her being anything but. Then she continued, "But some things happened at the wedding. Lots of things. Except, well except a wedding. They didn't get married. Xander left…"

"The git left the girl at the altar?!" He shouted, in a tone that bordered on delighted. It's not that he particularly wanted Anya to get her little demon heart broken; but it was such a refreshing change from that "holier than thou, can do no wrong" attitude he'd always get from the boy. Now he'd broken a heart. Next time Harris got on the whole "evil undead" kick, Spike would have a chip to bargain with.

Still, even though the development was new and the prospect of having Xander off his back for a while was enticing, Spike knew it was time to be serious. They were all gloomy. It wasn't nearly as satisfying to terrorize them when their spirits were already broken.

Then another question came to mind. "If they didn't get hitched and aren't out making little baby demons… and little baby Anya's, where is the happy couple?" Spike asked. He could only hope that Anya had picked back up in the vengeance circuit, and in the process, banished Xander's sorry hide to Antarctica. It'd take a good few months before he'd have to deal with him again. "And if that wasn't sweet enough," he thought, "Harris won't keep getting in the way when it comes to Buffy. No more naked pushups in bed for Spike."

"We don't know where either of them are," Willow said, bringing Spike back into focus. Tara took over for her. "Th-they've both been missing for two days. We're hoping they're together working things out somewhere." Then she added, "Working things out in the peaceful way."

"Not 'Anya gets mad and turns Xander into a llama' type of working things out." Willow finished for Tara.

Then the bell jingled and Buffy entered.

"Ah, fresh from the Double Meat, I see. Either that, or I can bet that the demon population at the fish factory is now at an all time low." Said Spike, staring at Buffy, who turned toward him, pretending to have just noticed him in the room for the first time. Normally she'd be hurt by his comment. Her weird burger smell was a pretty big taboo, but she could tell by the glint in his eyes that he was teasing. At that moment she remembered a conversation they had had, and she knew he was remembering it to.

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"He was so awful," she commented while putting herself together after their little bout behind the tree. "And he thought the smell was so bad that he'd rather get away from it than kill the slayer. Do I really stink so bad that walking corpses_ should be turning up their noses at me?" Buffy asked, turning to Spike, who was languidly leaning against a tree._

"Pet," Spike started, stepping away from the tree and taking her hands. "You always smell so bloody perfect that sometimes it's downright sickening. And," he began to step back, still holding her hands, "This_ walking corpse," he said, pulling her back with him, "Would never turn his nose up at you," Then he had her up against the tree with him, "even if you smelled like you'd just slept with the pigs." He ended with a husky whisper._

"I did just sleep with a pig," Buffy replied, with a mischievous gleam in her eyes.

"Oh naughty, naughty," he growled, moving in for the kiss.

But then Buffy pulled away. 

"No, Spike. Someone could see us." Buffy weakly stated.

"What in the Hell, Slayer? We just had sex on the soddin' lawn, and you pick now_ to start worrying about being seen?" Spike asked, frustrated. What had come over her?_

"I have to get dinner to Dawn," Was all Buffy said before disappearing inside her house, leaving Spike alone and confused against the tree.

So it had ended rather badly. Just the same, Spike didn't mean what he said about the smelling thing.

"You'd know," Buffy directed at Spike, "From the smell of it, you were probably there too, watching me or something." And to that, Spike leaned back in a chair and smirked.

Tara watched the exchange with interest. She'd known that Buffy had ended things with Spike, but that was about the extent of it. She was somewhat surprised that things had ended with them so quickly, and she wished she'd had an explanation. But no. At Buffy's birthday party, she'd talked like one day she might have come clean to her friends about Spike. But then, just a short while later, she told Tara it was over, and that was that. And from the way Buffy and Spike were acting now, she could tell something was indeed missing, but whether or not it was over for good, remained to be seen.

The way they were interacting… It wasn't the hateful sparring between enemies, or the heated banter between secret lovers (two conversational tones she'd witnessed from them before), but something else. It lacked any fire at all. It was like they were both attempting, and failing, to pretend things were "normal," but trying to be polite at the same time. This was just another one of the many awkward moments they'd probably had and would continue to have… A lot like the ones Tara had been experiencing with Willow. Those moments and conversations were so hard, and Tara was getting pretty tired of them.

Not surprisingly, though, Spike & Buffy's comments _didn't_ inspire nostalgia or regret or epiphany in Willow, only boredom and general annoyance. "Um, guys, that was kinda weak… And kinda weird. And we have problems right now. Llama Xander? Anyone remember?" Willow squirmed impatiently.

"Right," Buffy said, snapping back in Slayer mode. But then, "Will, what do you propose we do? This isn't my area of expertise. It's not vampires. It's people."

"Yeah! Our people." Willow added sternly. "We're all well aware that you've been distracted these last few months but this is Xander and you'll just have to-"

"Hey!" Tara interjected, scared that Willow might rub Buffy the wrong way. Willow didn't want to hurt Buffy, she was just trying to watch out for her friends. Willow had a big heart. That's something Tara loved about her. Just then, Tara made her decision, and she had an idea. "I think maybe we should wait a week or so before we worry too much. I mean they could, they could be working it out together. Or on their own." Then she added, "Working things out is important." She finished, locking eyes with Willow.

Buffy noticed the look and quietly sighed. She felt like she was reading Tara's mind, so she started, "I agree. We should probably give it a week or so… But this _is_ Xander and Anya. I'd really feel more comfortable knowing _something_ now. There's always a chance they met up after the wedding and decided to work things out… and nothing says I love you like a stay in a luxurious resort. So maybe you guys should go to Palm Springs and check to see if they went on their honeymoon together." She said to Willow and Tara.

Then it was done. Everyone in the room knew the true objective of Buffy's plan; Willow and Tara getting back together. And there was no argument from anyone. No "couldn't we just call their hotel?" or "What about our missing class?" and not even a "First, let's check their apartment to see if their tickets are still there." Questions easily answered went unasked.

The tension in the room was mounting, so Spike decided to take his exit. "Well, it's been fun kiddies, but I must be pushing off." Spike said, rising from his chair, stretching like a cat.

"Bye Spike. Thanks for the help," Willow said, only half paying attention, deep in thought. Spike nodded and turned to leave but didn't get very far.

"Help?!" Buffy asked incredulously. "Help? He just sat there telling me I smell like fish. Probably just showed up to see if we had donuts for him to mooch off of." Buffy finished, satisfied that she'd have the last word.

Spike turned around halfway, not meeting Buffy's gaze. Then with a sad half-smile said, "Yeah. You know me so well, Slayer." And then he was gone.

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Author's Note Revisited: I don't know if Xander and Anya ever decided on a Honeymoon spot, but that fact doesn't matter much to me. It's Palm Springs. And maybe the Willow Tara thing was rushed. But I dunno. I just want them outta there. Less characters to write makes it easier for lazy ol' me.


	2. Whispering in the Shadows

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Soul Sacrifice

Chapter 2 – Whispering in the Shadows

Buffy decided to do a quick patrol before she went home. Willow and Tara would leave that night, so she'd want to be able to stay with Dawn later. Plus, she wanted some brooding time.

Willow and Tara were witches, but they still got a chance at a normal life. A normal relationship. A normal relationship in Palm Springs. Buffy never had time to work things out in her love life. "Riley feeling insufficient? Oh, sorry. He's leaving tonight on a helicopter." Buffy thought bitterly. "Angel lost his soul. Maybe we can take some time to fix things today. Oh. Wait. Today's no good. I have to send him to Hell today. How does next week sound?" And then there was Spike… Who was standing right in front of her.

"Hello Buffy," Spike greeted tentatively, but not entirely friendly.

"Hey Spike," Buffy said in much the same way. He didn't act like he was looking for a fight, at least. Yet. And she could say the same thing about herself. She was tired, and wanted to see how things would pan out. After all, he had been so sweet at the wedding. Sure he tried to pull his little stunt. It was Spike. But when he realized it had hurt her, he was sorry. He told her he was glad to see her happy. Told her she glowed. Then it was suddenly so easy to joke with him again, like old times. They'd made each other laugh. Then. Then he told her he was evil, in a tone that didn't convince either one of them. Sometimes he made it so hard to remember why she couldn't be with him. Then a terrible thought suddenly hit her.

"Wait a second," she started angrily. "You're not following me around and being super nice to me, or, well, not ultra nasty to me, to get me to think you've changed, are you?! You're trying to tempt me! I know it! Think if you could just get me into bed one more time I'd never leave you again? Well think again! I'm a lot stronger than that. You can just get off your high horse if you think a little sweet talk and a few of your sexy looks will make me fall for you. 'Oh, you glow,' uh huh… yuck." She finished, surprising herself, not sure where it all came from.

Spike just stood there, mouth gaping open. "What in the Hell did I do to bring on this random onslaught?" he thought. Then, "Slayer, all I did was say hello…"

"Nah!" she shouted, holding up a hand to silence him. "I've heard enough from you. Leave me alone." Then she turned on her heals and stormed off in the other direction.

"What. Just. Happened. Here." Spike said to himself. Quickly he shifted through shock and hurt and moved right into anger.

Spike was stealthy and Buffy was taken by surprise when Spike tackled her to the ground from behind.

"Now you listen here, Slayer, and you listen good. I'm so bloody tired of you're just tossing me aside. Who's to say you're better than me, huh? I'm immortal, and higher up on the food chain, I might add. You better hope I don't stop loving you, or I could kill you mighty quick." He barked in her ear. "And another thing. _You_ get off _your_ high horse, thinking I'm only out to get in your pants. Don't flatter yourself." He said incredulously, before turning her over on her back, facing him on the ground. "And you can bet," he started again, right in her face, "That if I _was_ trying to seduce you, you wouldn't be so strong about resisting, and you wouldn't be so quick to throw me away. Not this time," he said, before giving her a fierce kiss.

The whole thing didn't surprise Buffy too much, as she started kissing back almost immediately, and to that, Spike laughed against her mouth. Then he could feel Buffy smile before shouting, "Oh Spike!" in a mocking, high-pitched tone and shoving him off of her.

"Thought you said I wouldn't be able resist you once you put the moves on," Buffy asked bitterly, getting up and brushing herself off, angrily watching him do the same.

"Oh, you won't be able to, pet, 'cause just then," He said, stepping very close to her. Then he whispered in her ear, "Just then, I wasn't even trying, and look how easily you gave it up."

With that, Buffy pushed him to the ground. "You know Spike, you say you love me, but I highly doubt you could love me and still act this creepy. So by your logic, if you don't love me, you think I should start fearing for my life? Well let me tell you something. The day that I even _begin_ to think that you'd EVER be a threat to me, I'll kill you." She finished, looking down on him with disdain, and maybe with something mixed with hurt.

Spike wasn't sure why, but he'd suddenly softened up. "I never meant for it to be like this, you know." He said, looking up at her, making no attempt to move.

"You know, Spike, part of me believes that and wants to apologize to you again for how things worked out, but another part of me thinks you're lying. It knows that you love this. The fighting, the tension, the pain being inflicted on both of us. That part of me knows that you live off of it, and wouldn't trade it for the world. So go live off of it, Spike. Go suffer. Go plan more plots; like that egg fiasco. Feed on my pain having to clean up after you… And then call me when you get that chip out, so I can have a really good slay." Then she walked off, this time, without Spike following.


	3. Yelling from the Shadows

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Soul Sacrifice

Chapter 3 – Yelling from the Shadows

"ARRRGH!" Buffy screamed into the couch cushion when she finally reached home. "Why did he do that? Why did I do that?" She asked herself. She didn't even know where everything she had said had come from. For once, he didn't provoke it, but it had come out in full. Fuller, in fact. She'd threatened to kill him. That was nothing new, but for the first time, in a long time, she actually meant it. And for the first time ever, it really bothered her. A lot. She realized it was the last thing she wanted to do, but that it would make things much easier.

He just made her so mad! When she wasn't expecting it, he'd do or say something to infuriate her.

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He held her on his lap.

"Stop!" She argued weakly.

"Make me." He said with a grin.

Then she kissed him. She tried to stop, but he begged her to stay. Then there was more kissing. "Maybe last night wasn't a mistake after all," Buffy thought, while Spike nuzzled her neck. But then…

"I knew," He started in a husky whisper, "I knew the only thing better than killing a slayer would be f-" 

He could really ruin the mood. And then other times, when she was expecting something, anything annoying from him, it wouldn't come, and that made her mad too. And then there was the egg scheme. It had been… Disappointing… He was so… just so…

*Creak*

"Dawn?" Buffy called, startled. The back door? Had Dawn gone out?

Dawn stepped into the living room with a smile on her face. "Hey! You're home!"

Buffy couldn't believer her coyness. "Yeah! You better believe I'm home!" Buffy replied scathingly.

"What? Buffy?" Dawn stammered, confused.

"Didn't expect me home this early, huh? I call and tell you I'll be home a little later and you take it as an invitation to go out on the town and steal stuff for an hour."

"Buffy…" Dawn squeaked, almost in tears.

"No Dawn. I thought I could finally trust you again, and then you go out and do this. What was I thinking?"

That was enough for Dawn. She quickly pushed past Buffy and ran up the stairs, suppressing sobs. Buffy just sat on the couch with a scowl.

About five minutes later, Willow came trudging down the stairs with a duffel bag. "Hey Buffy, I didn't know you'd be here. You get to see me off after all." Willow said cheerily. Then she noticed Buffy's grim look. "OK. I know you're gonna miss me but…"

"It's Dawn," Buffy started glumly.

"Oh, yeah, hey. I wanna say goodbye to her. Hasn't' she come inside yet? She's not in her room."

"What?" Buffy asked, suddenly a little queasy.

"Yeah. She said she was going to take the trash out. She wanted to help you out. Said that if she disappeared, she'd probably been attacked by a nasty demon. That likes garbage." Then Willow took notice of Buffy's progressively falling expression. "Dawn didn't get attacked by a demon, did she?"

"Yeah, she did. Me." Buffy said, feeling awful. Then, "Oh God! You said she's not in her room?" and with that, she shot off the couch and bounded up the stairs.

"Dawn?!" She yelled, moving through the hall.

"Dawnie, are you out there?" Willow called out the front door.

"Dawn?" Buffy said softly into Dawn's room. The window was open. "Oh God." Buffy said to no one in particular, as Willow met her side.

"Buffy, I can help you" Willow said, before being interrupted by the sound of a car horn. "Oh. That's Tara with the taxi. I can… I'll go… I'll go tell her she'll have to look for Xander, you know, without me.

"No Willow." Buffy quickly opposed. "Dawn's a big girl. I have to start acknowledging that. I can't really say the same about Xander, though. She'll be fine. Besides, this isn't a demon kidnapping thing. It's a sister thing. I'll handle it." Buffy finished.

"Well if you're sure Buffy," Willow said, trying to keep the hopeful look from her face.

"Yes Will, I'm sure." Buffy assured. "Now you go have fun, and, um… Find Xander." Buffy said, hugging Willow. Then Willow nodded and headed down the stairs. Buffy watched for a moment before starting her quest to find Dawn's address book. She'd check her friends' houses first. She'd wait to panic until she'd exhausted those possibilities. Then with a sigh and a "What have I done?" She grabbed the phone and dialed.

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Author's Note: This chapter was going to be a lot longer… But I decided I wanted to post a substantial amount of story BEFORE "Entropy" (and I barely succeeded at that). But with two proms, a college visit and AP Exams on the horizon, I didn't have a lot of time to write the rest of this chapter, so I figured I'd just make it short… I'll just make the planned second half of this chapter into chapter 4. Not the end of the world. Mmm. I was going to say something else, but I can't remember what it was.

I won't be seeing "Entropy" until Saturday (St. Louis and their stupid lack of UPN… grumble) so I can live in my happy little world and write more until then.


	4. Whispering to the Shadows

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Author's note: Sorry this took so long (not that I'm sure more than 4 people actually read the first half… but still… I had finals, which, surprisingly enough, I actually studied for. That's a first. And then I just sat around for about a week… It's a problem, because I have this habit… Of getting all excited about a fic… Writing the first half of it… Then kinda losing interest. I began to slip into that attitude (and I can't say that I won't in the future), but it's all very odd, because I haven't even written the parts I'm exited about yet. Well. We'll see.

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Soul Sacrifice

Chapter 4 – Whispering to the Shadows

Spike lounged on his sarcophagus, reading a book resting on his propped up knee. Figured he could use a little break from all the emotional turmoil that had been thrust on him lately. But then… "Oh bugger! There goes my R&R," he said to himself when he heard the sound of someone loitering outside his door. "No need to lurk! It's rude," Spike called, book marking his page.

He hoisted himself off the sarcophagus and started swaggering to the door. "Come on Pet. Why prolong it? We both know you're here for only one of two reasons." He stopped for a second, waiting for a catty response. He heard nothing, so he continued both his short journey to the door, and his speech. "Reason one: you're going to stake me for what I did to you today. Not my favorite prospect, but you never know. You might make it interesting… or… Reason two," He paused, now slowly opening the door, "You're still seething… and _excited_… and you want to work off that aggression by working my- DAWN!" He yelled in shock, at seeing who was really at his door.

"Working your what?" Dawn asked, stepping past him, into the crypt.

"Erm… You see… Buffy and I were uh… playing darts, and I beat her and then… oh sod it. Your sister's been a bitch lately. Just wanted to rile her up." Then he added, "Because I'm evil, of course."

"Yeah, I can believe that." Dawn said, plopping down on top of Spike's coffin. Spike actually looked at her a little startled. "I mean the bitch thing. I got my own dose of the Bitchy Buffy tonight." Dawn said quietly, looking at the floor.

She sounded so dejected. Then Spike really looked at her for the first time that night, and saw the tearstains on her cheeks, and her eyes shining bright with recent tears. He sat down next to her and tentatively put a hand on her shoulder. "Bit? You ok?" To that, she raised her head, looked at him blankly, and proceeded to stare at the ground again. "Alright. Stupid question," Spiked said. "Want to tell me what happened?"

"No." Dawn said, trying to sound threatening, but failing miserably. She just sounded pathetic.

"Well, if you didn't come here to talk to me about it, what can I do for you?" He said, getting up, walking towards his fridge. "Like a drink? Got scotch. Got blood. Care for a pint?"

"Like ew!" Dawn said, making a face. Spike smiled a little. A little more fire, a little less sadness was always a good thing.

"Here," He said, handing her a root beer, sitting back down next to her. "How about you tell me all about it. If anyone can identify with being the victim of Buffy's mood swings, it's me."

"Well," Dawn started, wringing the bottle around in her hands, "There's not much to tell. Just, today, I knew things weren't going well with her friends and stuff, so I decided I'd try to be good. I got home from school right on time and did all my homework. Then Willow came home and said she had some news. She said to come talk to her while she packed, but first the phone rang. It was Buffy. Said she was going to go slaying for a couple of hours but wouldn't be home too late. So then I went upstairs to talk to Willow. She told me about her trip. You know about the trip she's going on, right?" Dawn said, looking to Spike. He nodded so she continued. "Yeah, so then she said that she felt Buffy should be the one going to Palm Springs; that she looked so tired from work, and kinda sad. Sad for weeks now, so I just thought I'd do something nice for Buffy. I told Willow I was going to take the trash out. She said she was almost done packing, and she'd be down in a minute to help with chores too. So then… So then I took the trash out, and when I came back inside, Buffy was home early…" Then Dawn looked like she was going to cry again.

"Shhh… There, there, Bit, You don't have to tell the tale if it makes you upset." He reached over to wipe away a tear from Dawn's cheek, but she flinched and shook her head.

"No… no… I'm ok. Thanks." After gaining her composure a little, she continued. "So yeah… She just jumped on me, you know? Like… I just said hello, but she acted liked I'd done something awful. Then… Then she accused me of having gone out and shoplifted again. She said she couldn't believe that she'd let herself trust me… That she should have known I'd do something like this again… It just… It hurt so much… She said she'd trusted me… But she must not have trusted me at all… She just jumped on the first opportunity to say how much she did **not** trust me." That was it. She let the tears and quiet sobs come.

"Shhhh… Sweet… shhh." Spike tried to comfort, pulling Dawn up against his chest. Poor kid. He felt so sorry for her. Buffy was definitely out to get mad at the drop of a hat lately… But it wasn't just Buffy. He too felt a little responsible for Dawn's pain. What she'd said Buffy said kept echoing in his ears. _Couldn't believe she'd trusted her… Should have known she'd do something like this_…

It all paralleled too closely to what had happen just a few weeks prior.

_Buffy pleaded desperately, "Look, it… it can't be, okay… It's just Spike, Riley."_

"Right, Deadly… amoral… opportunistic… Or have you forgotten?" that ponce Riley said, reminding her.

Then…

"And I'm not here to bust your chops about your stupid scheme, either. That's just you. I should have remembered."

She was still sore about the egg thing! And it wasn't just the egg thing… It sounded like she'd put her defenses up in full force. She didn't want to have her trust betrayed, so she wasn't trusting anyone. 

But if he'd actually triggered all of this… She must have felt very betrayed… Meaning there was a trust _to betray_. "Well fancy that!" He thought. Then a sniffle brought his attention back to Dawn, who had stopped crying, and was sitting up, rubbing her eyes.

"Well, Niblet," Spike said, standing up. "I guess I should apologize to you… Seems the slayer might be a little edgy over something that **I** did." He'd begun walking to the other side of the crypt, back turned to Dawn, swinging his arms back and forth a little. Then he turned towards her. "Don't worry too much Dawn, it's not you she's really mad at, I don't think."

Dawn studied him a bit before saying, "Oh, was it that thing you thought she'd come here to stake you for?" She asked.

"Oh, no, that was just _another_ something else I did that irritated her, if that's even possible." Spike said, still standing across the room.

"Then what did you do to make her so testy?" Then Dawn looked at where Spike was standing. Scattered all around him was charred debris and full trash bags. Some of the debris looked like it was part of something bigger, like a bed or something. What was going on here? "And whoa, Spike, what's with the mess?"

"Well, Lil' Bit, both answers are part of pretty much the same thing. Didn't Big Sis tell you all about Big Bad's big, bad egg scheme?" When Dawn shook her head Spike was surprised. Oh, I guess she didn't want to worry her with Scooby business. "Oh, well remember when we were all happy, minding our own business the other day, when Soldier Boy suddenly decided to show up?" Dawn nodded, amused that Spike _still_ didn't like Riley. "Well, to make a long story short, he came back, to stop me from doing something bloody stupid." He nervously looked at Dawn's face, scared of what she might think of him, but instead, he got encouragement to go on. "Well, I had these demon eggs, that I was going to sell… Make a pretty penny, you know. But the things were dangerous…Plus I was stupid and left them in my crypt. Shouldn't have done it." For many reasons, Spike mused. "Well. Then Buffy and White Bread showed up just in time to stop the little preciouses from hatching and reeking havoc on their surrogate mommy… me, and more importantly, the rest of the world. Unfortunately, the best way to stop them was to blow the little buggers up… and my home with them." Then Spike sighed. "I think maybe Buffy was finally starting to trust me, you know? With you and all… And then I blew it like a stupid wanker. She thinks I betrayed her," Spike finished.

"Gosh, Spike, that was kind of dumb. Why'd ya do it? I mean… last time I checked, evil schemes weren't the way into Buffy's heart." Dawn said.

"Yes, I know, Bit. You're stating the obvious. But I just don't always think straight when it comes to your sis, you know? If it makes things any better… I… I did it for her, as stupid as that sounds."

"You were going to sell evil demon eggs for BUFFY? Put innocent people in danger for money, for Buffy? How romantic… I'm sure she would just **love **to hear **that**." Dawn didn't even attempt to keep the sarcasm in her voice under control.

"I know it sounds daft… but I had my reasons," Spike said, a little embarrassed. "I just wish… I just wish she'd forgive me, or grow to trust me again… But I don't think it will happen. I got my one chance… And with it I proved that I'm an amoral, opportunistic, greedy thing."

"Spike, that's not true…" Dawn tried to comfort.

"No, Dawn, sadly, in many ways, it is. Maybe parts of me have changed. Maybe I really can love and do good now, but there are things about me that will never change. I still have all these feelings… all these impulses, that would frighten you if you knew about them… And I'll never get them to stop, no matter how many good deeds I do; no matter if I had 200 chips stuck in my brain instead of just one. And I'm a killer. I'll never be able to show remorse for those I harmed… So I'll always be a killer. And when I betrayed Buffy… Not only did it hurt her, but it angered her greatly that she forgot those things about me. Now I think she'll be on guard for a good long while. I don't think I could ever be trust worthy enough to get through this new shield, not ever again."

Dawn contemplated it all quietly for a while. She didn't think Spike was nearly as bad as he said. Sure… maybe he had a few not-so-cheery impulses… but so did everyone. She liked Spike, and she wanted Buffy to forgive him, because she really did believe him. She believed that he hatched the whole scheme (oh, bad pun), for her, even though she still didn't quite understand the logic behind it. She sighed. Buffy was stubborn, and annoying. She'd probably forgive _Angel_ for something like this.

"You know things would be different if you had a soul." Dawn said absently. "She's so caught up in those, it's sort of funny sometimes. She's all so-"

"You know, Bit, you may have an idea there." Spike interrupted. Dawn stopped talking for a second to take in what Spike had just said. Then her eyes got big.

"What? Are you serious?" She yelped. "I wasn't suggesting… I mean… Can it even be done?" She asked.

"I dunno," Spike said honestly, "But it looks like it's up to us to find out." Spike said, grinning at Dawn.

She stared in shock for a moment, but then returned his grin with a blinding smile.

-----

****

Author's note: Yes… You caught me… Cheesy Spike getting a soul fic… Well, not exactly. I'm playing this at a little different angle then some of these fics, but you'll have to wait and keep reading to find out.


	5. Planes, Feigns and Telephone Calls

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Soul Sacrifice

Chapter 5 – Planes, Feigns and Telephone Calls

"Well Love, this is my stop." Spike said, stopping a few hundred feet from the Summers' house. "Any closer and Buffy will know I'm here. Probably come out accusing me of killing her baby sister and she'll be trying to steal my shoes and all the like," Spike babbled on to himself more so than to Dawn. Dawn just looked up at him with a small, secretive smile.

"You didn't have to walk me home, you know. I _got_ to your place just fine." Dawn said. She was trying to sound brave and grown up, but Spike could hear the appreciation in her voice.

"Oh, I know you'd be just fine on your own, Pet, but this is more for me, you know? Don't want to be having to worry 'bout you all night long. It's just my…"

"Nocturnal maternal instincts?" Dawn supplied.

Spike snorted. "Well I guess so. God, am I becoming a poof or what?"

"Well I think you're sweet." And with that, Dawn reached up and kissed Spike on the cheek. He looked a little surprised. Dawn just grinned. "Thank you… For walking me home, and for talking to me about the Buffy thing, and everything else. It's the best talk we've really had… The best talk I've had with anyone, since Buffy came back, you know?" 

"Yeah Bit, me too." Then, a little uncomfortable with all the displaying of affection, "Look, now you get along inside. Big Sis is probably throwing her eighteenth conniption fit by now."

"Oh, and I SO want to be present for _that_." Dawn quipped.

"Now be nice and go get along then. I'll watch and make sure nothing nasty jumps out gets you…" Then, "Remember what we talked about?"

"Yeah," Dawn said, "See if I can stay in my room a while before she notices I'm home… If I tell her about our plan at all, it's gotta be after midnight… Brush my teeth before bed. I get it."

"Alright then, off with you then." He said, lightly pushing her back.

"Bye Spike! And goodluck." Dawn said, turning and waving one last time before jogging to her house. Spike watched her until she was safe inside her bedroom window, then he turned, and made his way back to his crypt. Lots to do. Lots to do.

-----

Buffy opened the front door and stepped into her living room for the fourth time that night. She'd been alternating between making calls and searching the town all night. She was about to make another call when her eye was suddenly drawn to the flicker of the red light on her answering machine.

"Two messages, huh? Well let's see what we've got. One of these puppies better be from Dawn. Living Dawn… Not night of the living dead Dawn." She hit play.

"Margaret? Hey Baby… It's your little turbo squid… Thought you could trick me with a different answering machine voice… But nope, I'm smarter than that… And really turned on… How about we get together and make sweet, hot, monkey-"

"Message erased." Buffy winced, finger poised to hit the delete button again, if Turbo Squid decided to leave an encore message.

"Buffy Summers?" This was a voice that sounded vaguely familiar, but Buffy couldn't place it. Well… At least they dialed the right number. "This is Ryan Elliot, general manager of the Doublemeat Palace. I just called to say that I've been receiving numerous complaints about both your attitude while working, and your style of cooking. Something about your not squeezing your chicken patties with enough vigor. In either case, we think it would be best if you did not come into work tomorrow, or ever. We're sorry for the inconvenience. Good luck and have a very double meat, double sweet day."

Buffy just stared blankly at her machine. "They… fired… me…" She said slowly. Then, realization sinking in, "They fired me?! Those sick double cow, chicken, goat eating freaks fired _me_?!"

-----

An hour earlier, in the nerd cave…

Andrew hung up the phone. "So, how was I?"

"Great. You sound like you were born to manage fast food. Maybe you should look into that." Jonathan said, pouting on a beanbag chair, but they ignored him, as always.

"You were good. Now the Slayer won't show up to work and will be fired. Either that or, she'll call up Ryan Elliot and give him a piece of her mind. Either way, I think we're good."

"Yeah, and then what, Brainiac, when she's kicking our asses even more, because she doesn't have a job to eat up half her time?" Jonathan complained at Warren. Jonathan was getting pretty tired of this whole thing.

"Well then we commence our-"

"Evil plan, that will never work, as usual, and get your asses kicked, as usual." Spike finished from the doorway. Then he walked towards them. "But this time, I don't much care for you bugging the slayer again. Makes her moody."

"Well… uh… What are you going to do to us?" Andrew stuttered, subconsciously stepping backwards.

"He's not going to do anything." Warren said, trying to assure Andrew, though, he didn't sound too confident. "How did you even find us? Get in here?"

"Doesn't matter much. All that matters now is that you pests are going to join me on a little trip to the airport, where I'm going to stuff you all into luggage and have you sent to three corners of the earth. Four, if any of you don't cooperate." Spike finished.

Warren opened his mouth as if to say something, but Spike put a stop to it. "You, magic shrimpy boy," He said, shaking a hand in Jonathan's direction. "Can you do anything to make these two shut up? And make them not wiggle around so much? If you do, I'll send you to Hawaii, and I'll let you have a bathroom break before I send you off. Can't say the same for these other two."

Once again, Warren opened his mouth to say something, but Jonathan was the one that interrupted him this time, with a grin and a, "Gladly."

And with that, and a flick of Jonathan's wrist, Spike happily led the silent trio out the door.

-----

****

Author's note: This chapter's short… Because it wasn't even supposed to exist, but I started typing, and it just magically appeared… So… yeah!

Oh, and another thing. I just wanted to thank everyone for their great reviews! I appreciate them a lot. They give me warm fuzzies and such. :D


	6. Girl Talk

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Soul Sacrifice

Chapter 6 – Girl Talk

It was nearly midnight now and Buffy was once again home, fully exhausted. After a five minute cry on her sofa, which was all the time she could afford to waste, she went back to calling all of Dawn's friends, again. She called all the hospitals, again. And she searched every dark alley and demon lair she knew, again. Well, _almost_ every demon lair.

"Well Dawn," Buffy said to the air, "For your sake, you better be there." Then, "And for your sake, you better not let me find you there."

"Find me where?" Dawn said as she came down the stairs.

"Oh you know perfectly well where. I just know you're in- DAWN!" Buffy cried. "You're here!"

"Hi Buffy," Dawn said softly, moved by Buffy's outpouring of joy at her return.

Buffy embraced Dawn and smiled through tears. "I don't know if I should punish you, or take you out for ice cream."

"Well," Dawn said, pulling out of Buffy's hug. "Can there be another option? Because it's a little late for ice cream, and you can guess how crazy I am about the punishing."

Then Buffy got very quiet and turned from Dawn. "Dawn, I'm sorry about how I treated you." Then she looked back at Dawn. "That does not mean you were justified to run off like that. Though, you were justified to feel the way you did. I don't know what's wrong with me. Lately I've just felt this- I'm just so-"

"Moody over the whole Spike thing? I understand." Dawn said, sitting on the couch.

Buffy nodded and joined Dawn on the couch. "Still, it's no excuse for my…" Then, "I am _not_ moody over the Spike thing." Then, "Spike thing? What Spike thing?" Then, "Go to bed!" Buffy was severely flustered and more than a little alarmed.

"Buffy, it's okay. He told me everything. You have the right to feel betrayed and with the no trusting and all." Dawn assured her sister, but it didn't assuage Buffy's panic.

"Wait," Buffy stammered, "He told you everything? Like what kind of everything? Because you now, he's Spike, and he lies… little white lies… big lies… fairy tails… tall tales… And you can't believe what he says and…"

"No, Buffy, he came clean. Upright and honest, he was. I didn't have to drag it out of him or anything. I think he was just bursting to talk about it."

"No surprise there." Buffy said to herself. "Look Dawn, I know you probably can't understand all of this. **I** don't even understand all of this. But I just want you to know that I was being weak. It's over now." Buffy said, chin held high. 

"Buffy, you weren't being weak." Dawn started.

"Yes, Dawn. I was. How could a strong person ever let him do this to me?" Buffy said sadly.

"Come on Buffy. Letting yourself trust him isn't weak. I think it takes a lot of courage and strength to trust someone."

"Maybe, but what about everything else we did? Not too big in the courage and strength department there." Buffy said, mockingly.

"What 'everything else we did?'" Dawn asked, intrigued.

"Oh shit." Buffy thought. "I guess Spike didn't tell her everything after all. But why didn't he? "Oh damn you Spike!" She thought. At least his telling Dawn would have saved her the awkwardness of having to do it herself. Still, was now the right time for Dawn to find out? Buffy wanted to be honest… But right then? No. She'd tell Dawn later. Maybe it was a bad decision on her part, but she'd have to see.

"Oh… Just more of the trusting and more of his evil deeds. Those things." Buffy said.

Luckily for Buffy, Dawn seemed to buy it, and continued on. "I understand why you're upset. I mean… Even though I didn't see either one of you that much, I could tell you were warming up to him."

Buffy thought about denying it, but what was the point? "Yeah, I guess. But what good did it do? I'm guessing the egg thing was what Spike told you about. The only thing my 'warming up to him' could have done was let him slip by with those eggs… possibly killing thousands, so he could earn a little pocket money."

"Well Buffy, I'm not sure how, but he said he did it for you. It's a little farfetched… But I have to believe it… Because _everything_ he's done, he's done for you." Dawn said quietly.

"More like everything he's done, he's done to get in my pants, or to stab me in the back." Buffy said bitterly.

"Buffy… No, really. When he first fell in love with you, maybe he did. He did decent things to make you like him. But then, when you died, he kept doing good things. Not because you were around to give him a reward, or because you'd kill him if he didn't, but because he just knew it's how you'd want it. And now? Now he just does things for you. Make Buffy happy- number one Spike goal. Sometimes he just goes about it in the wrong way…"

"Explain to me how selling deadly demon eggs to very, very bad people was for me in any way, shape or form. It was just for him. Just so he could get money, and maybe feel like he had a little bit of his evil left in him." Buffy said. But then, suddenly, she remembered one of her first nights working at the Doublemeat Palace.

__

He was standing behind the counter, in a shirt Buffy wasn't sure she'd seen before. His eyes were so blue and wrought with concern when he leaned towards her. "Buffy… You're not happy here." He said.

"Please, don't make this harder," she said quietly.

"You don't belong here. You're something… you're better than this." He said.

"I need the money." Buffy said, sadly. She needed money…

"I can get money." Spike said, then gesturing with his head, "Walk with me now. Come on."

"Oh God." Buffy said, struggling between total disgust and sheer giddiness. "Ugh. I know why he did it, Dawn. What am I going to do with him? If he ever does the right thing, it's always for the wrong reasons, and when he has the right reasons, he always does the wrong thing." Then she sighed.

"Well, you don't have to worry about that for too much longer. I forsee one more right thing for the wrong reasons… Then who knows."

"What do you mean?" Buffy asked, suspiciously and slightly panicked.

Dawn sat silently (and smuggly) for a few seconds, then yawned as she adjusted herself on the couch.

"Dawn?" Buffy prodded.

Dawn checked her watch and finally answered. "He's getting his soul back." She said simply.

Dawn noticed Buffy's eyes widen before she got off the couch and paced to the other side of the room. Buffy stood, back turned to done for a few seconds, then turned back around. "I don't think so, Dawn. It can't be done. Not without the happiness curse, anyway."

"I think it could, though. Spike was telling me about how this summer, he'd been talking to Giles. Apparently, Giles had been talking to some other Watchers about Angel and his curse, and even more so, about how Willow re-cursed him with his soul. Now this guy's switched his field of study from whatever demon thing it was before to vampires and 'resoulification.' I don't really know many details. Spike didn't either. He said that when Giles started talking to him about it, that'd he'd dismissed. It was right after you'd died. Spike wasn't in the mood for any type of conversation, especially that one. But anyway, yeah. Apparently this dude had made some headway. Spike's going to go check it out."

Buffy had just sit, listening. But now… "But he can't do that! I mean… I won't let him. Dawn, you stay here. I'm going to go pay Spike a visit."

"Sorry Buffy. He's long gone. He dropped me off here about two hours ago. First he was going to go take care of the nerd trio." Then Dawn started, in a pretty decent Spike accent, "Said he didn't want any of those buggers givin' the Slayer any trouble while he's away. But I don't think that would have taken him too long. He's probably on the plane by now.

Spike had taken care of the nerd Trio? How considerate… That was just so… Plane? "Plane? Plane where?" Buffy asked.

Then Dawn replied, "England."

-----

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Author's Note: *sigh* I'd wanted to get this whole story done by the finale (which I don't get to see until Saturday *grumble*), but it looks like that won't be happening. Graduation practices… and graduation… tomorrow! Augh… Oh… haha. Sorry. So anyway… I'm guessing I'll have most of the chapters up by Saturday… But I'll just say about the future chapters… any huge differences (or similarities, if the case may be), to the finale, are completely coincidental… Because I don't see anything until Saturday, and I've been good about spoilers… So… Yeah. Stupid St. Louis… Oh… St. Louis is just too good for UPN. Is that it? Huh?


End file.
